americankitten | Oct. 3rd, 2009

I"m a gentle sort of being, tender hearted you might say. I shiver after I'm yelled at, my face red and my muscles taught. Like right now, my mom just randomly came in (while on the phone, which is really rude) and yelled at me for turning on the air conditioner. Then she walked away saying "It's 65 fucking degrees in the house!" (which it is not, by the way. I checked.)

So now I want to get up and run. I never run; not for sport or otherwise. But now I want to get up and run for a time until her anger passes. Which might not happen. She's been in anger and frustration all morning. She never yells at me. I'm never the target of her anger. But in that moment I was, and now I feel wounded.

I may seem strong at school in front of my friends, I may be opening up and being a little more rowdy with them, but as of now, i'm not listening to my music just so I know when mom is yelling. Yes, I'm opening up to my friends, I find it easier to trust them now, but at home I hide in my room. There are no nightmares in my house, I would just rather not deal with anybody. I find them annoying, disgusting, and troublesome.

But at least the sky is clear and the air is cool outside, right?