and also very confused.
just gonna update on this post from now on because the story keeps evolving. it's kinda getting creepy now. slightly.
he just told me he basically dated this girl because she reminded him of me. Should I be scared yet?
but he's like a brother to me why am i so... happy?
or am i just nervous? overwhelmed? I know I'm gonna be confused about this for a long time.
now I really can't fucking sleep.
he's practically my brother. help him concentrate on someone else. Not me.
there you go. just stop talking about kissing cuz it's a bit creepy. ew ew ew ew
dammit he said those three words. he told me "i love you"
i logged out of facebook right after that.
i need to sleep. i just..... sleep time. done. done done DONE.
You guys ever do that?
With my job: I need a change. For about six weeks now, I've been a combo courtesy clerk/cashier. At a grocery store. I'm either really busy juggling that, or I'm stuck with nothing to do because I'm there as the "just in case" girl. Today was fucking boring. I was walking around in circles for like, three hours. Trying to look busy. I was not needed at all, because we had enough clerks and enough cashiers. It made me realize that I need to change something around here with my job situation. Either get a second job, or become a cashier (which means a raise, which I have not gotten), or just leave all together. Become a waitress somewhere.
Then I start thinking about what my roommate said to me yesterday. He confessed to me that he's liked me a long time. Like, since we met back in freshman year in high school. He's my roommate, and best friends with my boyfriend. All three of us have known each other all this time. And we live together. Now I know that he likes me, it doesn't help. It leads to the third thing keeping me awake.....
Me and my boyfriend. I've probably addressed this before, but. We've been together a long time. 5 or 6 years. And we're not even engaged. We've become content. And I hate contentment. I like change. Excitement. See the first segment about my job situation. I hate being stuck, and I've been stuck for a while now. I really want to see other people, flirt, kiss someone else, maybe even have sex with someone else. I never did that in high school. I was with my bf. I never got the chance, and now I really really just wanna flirt and all of that shit. I want to seduce someone. The bf and i have talked about it, but we kind of decide we're wary of the decision and decide not to do it. I'm getting to the point where I don't care. I want to seduuuuuce someoneeeeee dammit
and now I'm just all angsty and uuuuuggghhhh and don't know what to do. I want to go to my roommate and kiss him. Seduce him. I would never ever ever do that because that would be really fucking awkward. But this contentment has me in this kind of cabin fever where I'm attracted to like, everyone, and don't care what they're like, I just wanna seduce. I wanna feel sexy. I don't feel sexy. Dammit.
Will be thinking about it all day.
Sorry about that guys. I've been neglecting everyone!
Life has been pretty busy. Just working, pretty much moved of from UC to cashier (not officially though, boo), and I got a puppy three days ago! Her name is Stella and she's the most adorable thing in the whole world, when she's not peeing or pooping in the house. She's an American Eskimo, white fur, curled tail, adorable puppy smile. I will post pictures later! :D Right now she's sleeping in her kennel right next to our bed.
I've been pretty avidly learning and reading up on witchcraft as well. I'm kinda interested in urban witchcraft, but I'm kind of dabbling and reading everything right now. I can't find much on urban witchcraft anyways. I'm limited, so I can't really practice much of what I do. I have a boyfriend who doesn't like that kind of stuff and finds it weird. Looked up numerology the other night, going to look up different types of divination right now. If puppy stops chewing up her training pad.....
If there are any other witchfolk around here, what kind of divination do you prefer?
But hey, what happens, happens.
I'm a 20 year old girl, and I say girl because I'm only 4'11". So yes, I look like I'm 12. I read a lot, listen to a lot of music, and work at a grocery store. I'm living with my friends and boyfriend from high school in an apartment in Henderson. That's a city right next to Las Vegas. I am a photographer, and babysit for a neighbor a lot.
I'm also a political nut, but I will try not to bug you too much with that stuff. Unless you want me to. ;)
So yeah, That's me. Add me if you want, I'm okay with it. :)
Got in a car accident and don't have a car anymore, which sucks.
I need to get a job soon, and I'm trying to get money for rent. Parker said he'd cover me for bills, which came as a huge surprise. But it's also a huge help. :D
And this weekend I'm staying at my parent's house to babysit for money. Yay me. :)
so i walked all the way to the mall today and applied at almost every store. the walk there was long, hot, and exhausting. im going to the halloween store tomorrow to talk to a guy named Doug. i hope i get to working and get paid before the end of the month. i really need it.
now I'm relaxing and watching my friends play mw3. this dr. pepper is super refreshing. gonna pass out soon so goodnight all. .
Walked around and applied for jobs today. My favorite store, hobby lobby, is hiring! I'm so excited. The lady said I'd get a call in a few days, so I'll be waiting. But if someone else wants to hire me first, oh well. So be it. I just really need money. :\
I'm tired so I'm gonna head to bed now. Goodnight!